Power Armoured Beard

As you can tell by most of my recent posts as of late, Blood Bowl fever has got a big grip on me at the moment. I’ve been running my local league, painting a lot more models, reading the NAF and Talk Fantasy Football forums and listening to many episodes of Blood Bowl podcasts. From being involved a bit more with the online community I’ve discovered that Blood Bowl tournaments might not be all that bad.

As I’ve said before I don’t think I’m much of a table-top tournament player, I’d much rather play narrative campaigns. I don’t like what the heightened sense of competition does to some people (to be fair, probably the minority). Call me a care-bear if you wish, I’ve just decided it’s not for me, at the moment at least.

However, what I started discovering from reading/listening into the Blood Bowl tournament scene a bit more, was the sometimes negative vibe I got from tournaments wasn’t really present. People played in the spirit of the game, which itself is written in a comical and light-hearted way. I wonder if this is the aspect of the game makes it a lot harder to take too seriously, although I’m sure there are still people out there that do.

Anyway, Vault Bowl 2012 in Leamington Spa was my destination for the day. Our travelling party consisted of me, Adam (also known as Ginge, who has turned up in previous posts including the match report), Amy and Fran (our long suffering girlfriends and drivers for the weekend). An early start was in order as we had a two hour drive and registration started at 9.15. Despite our Satnav being a useless pile of crap, me and Amy got there in time and met up with Ginge and Fran.

We met the other players who were a very friendly bunch, the girls headed off for a day at Warwick Castle and once registered, I sat down for my first game. I should probably point out that for this tournament I was using an Orc team I had named Pigrah’s Snorthammerz (actually made up by my friend Dan. I asked his permission to use it because it sounds awesome.

Game One: VS Goblins.

Possibly one of the more important aspects of this game was every round of the tournament had a different round effect. This round was called “The refs on strike”. This really didn’t help me versus the Goblins. I hadn’t actually played against a Goblin team before apart from on the PC game, and the sheer amount of secret weapons they were wielding was quite daunting. The fact that the ref was on strike did not help as these weapons were less likely to get spotted and sent off for the rest of the game. By the end of the game I had 5 players in the “dead/seriously injured” box! This was quite a learning experience and a wake-up call. I had made some silly mistakes in the match and going forward I’d really have to focus.

Pigrah’s Snorthammerz result: LOSS.

Game Two: VS Ogres.

Again, this is a team I’ve never played against before. I knew that Ogres are tough guys that aren’t good at ball handling, and Snotlings are squishier than rice pudding on a hot day. What I didn’t realise was just how tough it is to control Snotlings with tackle zones! They are small enough to nip around all over the place! Another lesson learned. First half didn’t go too great. A Snotling fluked catching fumbled ball and just about made it to score a touchdown. I was in trouble. The opponent wasn’t using too many cages so I didn’t get to use my “anti-cage” technique I’ve been working on. It was getting near the end of the game, and my opponent was fending me off well. Right in his last turn, just for fun one of his Ogres threw a Snotling team mate at the endzone to try and score once more. The thrown player was obviously not quite ready for this and stuffed the landing. I had one turn to hoik the ball from end of the pitch to the other. I had a crazy amount of dodge rolls, a pass off and a long pass to complete to get this done. My boys didn’t let me done. The dice were on my side everything succeeded and I scored an equalizer in the last turn! What a play! One troubling thing about this game was I could not break any of the Snotlings armour. All I had to do was roll 6 or more on 2D6 and I couldn’t manage it once!

Pigrah’s Snorthammerz result: DRAW.

Game Three: VS Orcs

Well looky here. Who do I have to play in my final game for the first day? My old adversary, The Evil Ginger One himself. I predicted a hard fought game here as we are pretty much matched equally for skill. I can sum this game up in one word: Massacre. Something had happened to my dice over the course of the day. They had warmed up all day, got in tune with the Blood Bowl vibrations and I was breaking enemy Orc armour left, right and centre. If I hit an Orc, he was staying down. It was a horrible game for Ginge and I have been on the receiving end of such games so I felt his pain. On the plus side, a win for me!

Pigrah’s Snorthammerz result: WIN.

That was the first day over with and I was feeling pretty good. I’d effectively broken even! We retreated to our hotel not too far away in Coventry and after dinner the day took its toll, I was ridiculously tired.

Next day, we were back at the tournament nice and early.

Game Four: VS Dwarfs.

I’d heard that dwarf teams are that popular amongst Blood Bowl players. Well, only if you are playing against them. Although I have played against a dwarf team many times before I didn’t really know what to expect, and didn’t get complacent after the first days games. I knew I had to keep my mind on the game. My first turn couldn’t have gone better. One Troll Slayer down, revived by the apothecary. Then not much longer after that the other Troll Slayer gets crushed, and this time he’s not coming back. My “anti-cage” technique came into play nicely this game, I slowed his movement down to a painful crawl of one or two squares per turn and I bashed away at the beardy buggers. I took the first touchdown, but sadly my opponent equalised right on his last turn.

Pigrah’s Snorthammerz result: DRAW.

Game Five: VS Ogres.

A different Ogre team this time. This was a really hard fought game. Every move felt more crucial than the last. I was in “the zone” and I made every single player count. My opponent was the same and it felt like two veteran chess masters going at it. I don’t remember too many of the details, but I do remember a lot of caging, a lot of canny/daring plays and even a few Bone Head results for the

Ogres, especially when my opponent really didn’t want that to happen. It probably ranks on one of the most nail-biting and entertaining games of Blood Bowl. It was really great playing at this level of competition.

Pigrah’s Snorthammerz result: DRAW.

Game Six: VS Dark Elves.

Coming to this game I knew I had to keep a level head. I know what Dark Elves are capable of. You take your eye off them for one moment and they are going to score. Luckily for me, my opponent had never played against Orcs before (unbelievable!) and was quite daunted by the potential bloodbath that awaited him. Those green lads didn’t let me down. A combination of the Orcs bashing the opponent to bits and the Dark Elves completely failing every agility roll they attempted made for a silly game. We had a good laugh and this game was a nice end to weekend.

Pigrah’s Snorthammerz result: DRAW.

The whole weekend was great fun, everyone I met was really friendly and I will definitely be going to tournaments in the future. It was a great learning experience overall and I got some nice Vaultbowl dice out of it as well.

I don’t currently know where I was on the standings, but I reckon probably around the mid-table mediocrity but I am actually really chuffed with my first tournament performance. I find it pretty funny that the only person I actually beat was my friend that I actually went with.

I think my plan for the next few tournaments is to repaint an Orc team, make them look really flash, whilst collecting a Necromantic team to swap out to when it’s complete.

If you are a Blood Bowl player who has never been to a tournament and you are toying with the idea, I’d definitely recommend it.

PIGRAH’S SNORTHAMMERZ WILL RETURN!

P.S. any of you that are awaiting the Fantasy Football League final results, they will be coming soon!

It’s the penultimate round! Unfortunately, due to being mega busy for the last couple of weeks I didn’t get to catch any details of the other games so I’ll just be listing the results.

Magnusson’s Marauders 0 – The Lack Lustrians 1

Well, what a game. The unbeatable Lack Lustrians vs Magnusson’s (far below average) Marauders. I was not looking forward to this game one bit.

Luckily, first kick-off result of the game was a riot, and the game progressed 5 turns before anyone had even made a move! The less chance these lizards have of scoring on me, the happier I’ll be. They finally received the kick and made a break down the right wing of the pitch. They had 3 turns to score, which is still very achievable with the nimble Skinks. But the marauders sprang into action, chased the opponents down and boxed them in very tightly. There was nowhere they could move, no tackles they could attempt that weren’t highly risky. I slowed them down to a crawl, and when the time was right just 2-3 spaces from the end zone, I smashed hard into their cage, wrestled the ball away and threw it to safety. It was already the end of the first half and the score was 0-0! Could I even dare to dream of a win against the best team in the league?

Second half didn’t start so smoothly. I was receiving the ball, and it drifted towards just behind my line of scrimmage, which I had set up in such a way that the centre was quite weak, relying on my marauder that had just gained the Fend skill to cause a nuisance. This time the kick-off table wasn’t so kind, giving the Lizardmen a free turn before the half started. BASH! The Kroxigor bashes straight through the centre of my defensive wall and a flood of irritating Skinks followed in behind hi,m totally surrounding the ball. The marauders smashed into their formation once again, but one of the Skinks wriggled free and dashed for the line, I simply didn’t have the speed to catch him and the Lustrians go a Touchdown up. Boooo.

The rest of the game was just ridiculously nail-biting. Neither of us had many rerolls left. Pretty much every dice roll felt like do-or-die. The absolutely most draining part of the game for me was one of my marauders had managed somehow to squeeze out of a messy midfield and was free, not too far from the endzone. I managed to get the ball to him, but he wasn’t quite close enough to make the Touchdown without rolling a “Go for it” check. I didn’t want to risk leaving him there for another turn, because there was a reasonable amount of enemy players within reach that could make life extra difficult for him, so I went for it. Bet you can guess what happened can’t you, folks? Yep. I rolled a one. My best chance to do what all the other teams had failed to do thus far, and get a draw out of the Lack Lustrians and it failed due to a horrible dice roll. My last reroll, I had to use it. Another one. It simply was not meant to be. It must be destined that the Lizards will finish this season undefeated, and they only have one more game to play and prove this.

Despite the loss I think Magnusson’s Marauder performed admirably, much better than I had expected. The early riot helped me a lot, but nonetheless I came away feeling more confident in my team for the future. On top of that, I have finally made enough cash to hire my Minotaur/Spawn. That’s right; Yngvar the Twisted will be taking the pitch next game!

The Ironbeard Guard 0 – Al Gore’s Man Bear Pig Appreciation Society 0

Ming’s Marauders 1 – I Told Them I Was Ill 1

Da Smashy Hitterz 2 – The Hurdy Gurdy Hitmen 0

The Blades of Loec 6 – We Just Want To Be Loved 0

The South Ulthuan Storm Win – Lose Unnamed Orc Team  (Actual score unknown currently due to team-sheet issues).

Fantasy Football League Results

123        The Southland Alliance
113        The Donkey Men
108        Clueless Wonders
106        Bellend Hogs
103        Doc’s Depraved Delinquents
98        Team Hatstand
98        The Menagerie of Malcontent’s
90        Traci Lords of Change
77        RRRiot POW-Lice
44        Van Hemlock’s Vandals

No change in the standing at all this round! The Southland Alliance holds onto the lead. Doc’s Depraved Delinquents just edge ahead of Team Hatstand from their previous matches rivalry, and The Menagerie of Malcontent’s seem to want a piece of the Hatstand now as well!

Newly hired players:

“Yngvar The Twisted” The Minotaur/Spawn  (Magnusson’s Marauders)
Brok The Blocker (The Ironbeard Guard)

It looks like the undertaker is out of work this round as no players died on the pitch!

Next round is the big one. The teams play their last games of the season. Will The Southland Alliance triumph as the first ever Power Armoured Beard Fantasy Football champion? Will The Lack Lustrians ever be beaten? Will any of the players from Van Hemlock’s Vandals actually do anything?

Stay tuned to find out!

Hello folks!

This week all but 1 of the matches were played in one evening. It was cool to have a room full of friends all playing at once but unfortunately I didn’t get to see many of the games as I was playing my match. Therefore, I won’t be able to tell you the ins-and-outs of what happened. Anyway, lets get stuck in with the results, shall we?

Magnusson’s Marauders 0 – The Ironbeard Guard 1

Yet again the Chaos Gods have chosen to spurn me. Bad dice rolls have plagued this league for me, and its making it really hard for me to consider playing this team any further than this season. Although having read what I’ve just written makes me think that sounds a bit whiny. It’s probably because I’ve always used Orks before, who are really strong from the get-go. Maybe, dear readers, just maybe I should stick it out, persevere and have faith in Chaos.

I started the game off one player down, but foolishly and arrogantly I felt I had a good chance of a win. Quickly things went wrong. The very second block of the match badly injured one of my marauders, making him miss the rest of the match. To be fair the first half was great, both teams trading blows like true heroes. But the Dwarves were on form, after receiving the kick-off, they carefully made their way forward, knocked over some of my team and before I knew it the Dwarven runner had broken through my lines! Every player from my team that could feasibly take him down was tied up, except for one. He made a valiant effort to take the ball carrier down but as Dan had supported him with a blitzer, it was easier said than done. A bit of fumbling around, another of my players gets injured making me another man down for the rest of the game, and the Ironbeard Guard walk home a well fought touchdown.

That one drive took most of the first half. Luckily a dwarf gets caught fouling one of my players and is also sent off for the rest of the match. Somehow I had broken through some armour, sending a bearded one off pitch to recuperate. Going into the second half the teams, although slightly depleted, were even again. My plan was to at least get an equalizer. This however was not destined to be.

First kick-off result for the second half was riot. The referee lets the clock run on, meaning I have lost 5 of the 8 turns I had to score! There are now 3 rounds left in the whole game for me to break through the dwarven defences and get my touchdown. Needless to say, this didn’t happen.

During the post-match sequence I did something odd. I had been told/dared by Kilowog from @BOTHDOWN on twitter that I should trust in Chaos each time a player levels up in my team I should roll completely randomly which skill he receives. So I decided to accept this challenge. Now I have 1 marauder with the Fend skill, and 1 who has grown a Prehensile Tail. Fend is not something that I would normally go for initially, but I can see where it can be useful. Prehensile Tail is something I would pick because I find it can combo nicely with Shadowing. Get a player with both of those, plop them on the wings of the pitch and it gives dodging players something more to worry about. However, the chances of me randomly rolling Shadowing on that player in the future are very low. I think I have learnt to say screw it now. What will be will be, and Magnusson’s Marauders will go on until the bitter end!

The Hurdy Gurdy Hitmen 1 – Al Gore’s Man Bear Pig Appreciation Society 2

Pretty standard match it seems. One thing that does stick out was the first sacking of a player! The Hurdy Gurdy Hitmen have decided that their injured runner, Honir, was too much of a liability and drain on the teams resources so they have chosen to end his contract! It’s a tough life being a Blood Bowl player.

I told them I was ill 3 – We just want to be loved 0

Two stinky teams that utilize zombies for their line-men. Two teams with very silly names. But it seems that the Necromancers took the upper hand (probably chewed on it for a bit), and won the game. I should imagine the S.Milligan, the werewolf, and his high speed value contributed to the success.

I do not envy the groundskeeper that has to clean up after this match. Eww.

Ming’s Marauders 2 – Unnamed Orc Team 1

Still unnamed, still without his own models, Rob’s Orc team suffered the defeat. On top of that a Black Orc fell to the blades of the insidious Dark Elves. Luckily, a new Black Orc was eagerly hired straight after the match!

Whilst writing this post I was going to say that the Orcs exacted revenge for their fallen teammate when I remembered what actually happened. I was so close to given the Greenskins false glory. The truth is much more amusing.

Cidan, the Dark Elf blitzer not only has the ball, but also the endzone in sight. It’s a little bit further than he can comfortably run in one turn, but he’s going to give it a shot. Adam, AKA Ming, has to roll a Go For It check. Failed. Armours broken. Injury result comes up Dead and Seriously Injured. This roll then becomes dead. That’s right. Just as Cidan is about to cross the line into the endzone, he trips on a piece of debris thrown onto the pitch by howling fans, lands awkwardly and promptly snaps his neck. No more Cidan. Classic.

Da Smashy Hitterz 0 – The Lack Lustrians 3

Both teams arrived at the match undefeated, only one of them left that way. Damn those pesky lizards. I have yet to play against them, and I’m not looking forward to it!

The Blades of Loec 5 – The South Ulthuan Storm 1

That’s right. Two new teams! Russell (The Blades of Loec, Woodelves) and Matt (The South Ulthuan Storm, Elves) both asked if they could join the league, taking the place of the players that dropped out. I figured why not? The more the merrier.

I watched this match and it was disgusting. The ludicrous result is due to Russell really knowing how to use Wood Elves (they were up and down the pitch quicker than you could blink) and Matt having HORRIBLE luck. Will be interesting having these guys in the league, even if it is a late stage!

Fantasy Football League Results

Total SPP        Team Name
108        The Southland Alliance
100        The Donkey Men
98           Clueless Wonders
95           Bellend Hogs
86           Doc’s Depraved Delinquents
86           Team Hatstand
82           The Menagerie of Malcontent’s
79           Traci Lords of Change
76           RRRiot POW-Lice
37           Van Hemlock’s Vandals

Well after a great start the RRRiot POW-lice have plummeted through the rankings. We have a nice stand off between Zoso’s Team Hatstand and Toerag’s Doc’s Depraved Delinquents. And just edging ahead of the crowd is The Southland Alliance. Poor old Van Hemlock’s Vandals seems to be a team made of the laziest players in the league so far. Sad times.

I have to say though, I’m pretty disappointed so far, folks. No-one has been able to pick any players that have been killed or fired so far! And we the death toll racking up, I’m quite surprised!

Players that will be missing the next round include:

Jizzwink the Skaven Blitzer (Al Gore’s Man Bear Pig Appreciation Society)

Newly hired players:

Bill and Ted  the Rotters (We Just Want To Be Loved)
Rugg the Blocker (The Ironbeard Guard)
P.Seller the Werewolf (I Told Them I Was Ill)

Fired players:

Honir the Runner (The Hurdy Gurdy Hitmen)

Let us now honour the dead:

Unnamed Black Orc, Unnamed Orc Team(Duffed up by Dark Elves)

Cidan the Blitzer, Ming’s Marauders(Tripped to death)

That’s all for this week. The next installment won’t be for at least another week now, but stay tuned to Power Armoured Beard for more treats!

Hello, sportsfans!

Welcome to another instalment of the Blood Bowl league. Lets dive straight in shall we?

Da Smashy Hitterz 1 – Magnusson’s Marauders 0

Sigh. Another loss for me! Now last time you saw my worst defeat to date when I lost 4-1. Despite the score, I’m pretty sure this game ever was worse by far. The problem was my dice. They seem to have taken a great dislike to me. It may have been because I wasn’t using my regular Blood Bowl D6, but pretty much ANYTIME I needed to do ANYTHING I’d roll the absolute worst result.

The ultimate wound this game caused me was turn 8 of the first half. Everything was setup perfectly. One of my Chaos Warriors had the ball, he had enough movement to cross the line without even making a dice roll. Scoring this touchdown would have also given him enough SPP to level up as well. But no. I had to try something at the opposite end of the field. The plan was to dodge a marauder out of an opponents tackle zone and into an area that would help another of my players push one of the horrid greenskins in to the crowd. I had a reroll to use if all went wrong, and I needed a 3+ to dodge out.

2.

Reroll then.

2 again.

The dodging player trips over. The ball carrier is left standing like a dithering dickhead, turnover is called and the half ends along with my chances of an easy touchdown. Note to self:

NEVER TRY BEING A SMART ARSE EVER AGAIN, FFS!

Lesson learnt.

Hurdy Gurdy Hitmen 1 – The Ironbeard Guard 1

I got to watch this Block-fest match and, holy shit, it all went down here. My money was on the Norse if I’m going to be 100% honest.  They swarmed the stout dwarf team quickly from the kick-off and scored in the first few turns. This is how I imagined the rest of the game would be. How wrong I was.

It seems that losing their brother slayer in the previous match had stirred the fire in their bellies. They kicked it up a gear after the first touchdown scored against them, and took off the gloves. BAM, down goes a Norseman, put him in the dead and injured box. BAM, and another. BAM, whoops there goes the brand new Snow Troll. By the end of the game The Hurdy Gurdy Hitmen had SIX of their players laid out in the dead and injured box. They were lucky to have no-one actually die, but the two Norse runners took the brunt of it. Honir loses a point of strength and Baldur loses a point of armour, putting him on a very fragile AV6. If someone knocks him down its more than likely going to hurt from now on!

During the mayhem, Brek the Dwarven Runner, casually strolls in a touchdown for the equalizer. What a brutal match. Amazing!

We Just Want To Be Loved 1 – Red Mist Reavers 0

A buy for the Nurgle team. Sadly, Robin has decided to retire his team early from the league for legitimate reasons. He didn’t have access to his models that he had created for the Red Mist Reavers a season ago, and due to the fact that he kept having to use proxy models he never really got invested in them. You could say he didn’t get to bond with his team, which can sometimes be a deal breaker, especially for the fluff style players such as ourselves. He will hopefully be back next season as he is working on a new Norse team.

Ming’s Marauders 1 – Unnamed Goblin Team 0

The goblins strike again in their lack of turning up to a game!

I Told Them I Was Ill 1 – Unnamed Orc Team 2

Didn’t catch this game myself, but I hear it through the grapevine that the Orc team’s thrower, the best player on their team to date, was very slightly nibbled by some naughty zombies, and…er… might be a bit of a zombie himself now. That’s right, he’s dead and now playing for the other team (not a euphemism).

Al Gore’s Man Bear Pig Appreciation Society 1 – The Lack Lustrians 3

After the kicking the skaven received last game they were missing a load of players and had to sub in some journeymen (journeyrats?). The Lizards carry on their outrageous winning/scoring streak.

Fantasy Football Results Table

Total SPP        Team Name
70        Clueless Wonders
66        Bellend Hogs
65        Doc’s Depraved Delinquents
62        RRRiot POW-Lice
61        The Menagerie of Malcontent’s
60        Traci Lords of Change
60        The Southland Alliance
59        Team Hatstand
57        The Donkey Men
37        Van Hemlock’s Vandals

The Clueless Wonders aren’t acting all that clueless this round as they jump straight to the top. Something to watch out for will be all the players missing matches next week, that could really shake standing up a lot.

Players that will be missing the next round include:

Thor, Honir and Baldur (The Hurdy Gurdy Hitmen)
Eldgrim (Magnusson’s Marauders)

Newly hired players:

Dribblesnoz Vomshare the Troll (Da Smashy Hitterz)
Foehammer the Trollslayer (The Ironbeard Guard)
Meredear the Blitzer (Ming’s Marauders)
Tzatep the Skink (The Lack Lustrians)
Ratflaps and Scratch’n'Sniff the Linerats (Al Gore’s Man Bear Pig Appreciation Society)

Let us now honour the dead:

Unnamed Orc ThrowerUnnamed Orc Team
(Nibbled by a Necromancer)

There we have it. Round 4 shouldn’t be too far off from getting written up so keep those eyes peeled!

xBevisx

Welcome to Round Two of the league. Remember me telling you last time that things were going to get violent? Well the teams didn’t let me down. There will be blood…

Let’s get the most painful bit out of the way first shall we?

The Hurdy Gurdy Hitmen 4 – Magnusson’s Marauders 1

Ouch. That’s all I can say. You, my friends, have witnessed the worst Blood Bowl defeat I have ever experienced in my whole time of playing. I blame two people for this. Firstly, Kilowog from the Both Down podcast and secondly, myself. After hearing Kilowog’s excellent theory on playing Norse super aggressively, I stupidly told my friend, Tom (who is a pretty good player anyway) about it. He was picking which team to play for the league at the time and decided to test Kilowog’s theory. And now it’s come back to bite me on the ass.

In his previous game one of Tom’s beserkers, named Thor, gained dodge, and in this game he proved himself to be a grade A superstar/arsehole. Repeatedly he punched through my defensive lines with ease, and even if I did manage to take him down, he has the Jump Up skill anyway. As the game went on, Tom started to test Thor by throwing into some crazy play situations, but miraculously he escaped each totally unharmed and usually went on to score, 3 Touchdowns total by the end of the match! It was truly a marvel to behold (no pun intended). I tried my best to punish him for these actions, but to no avail. Hopefully, one of Tom’s future opponents will avenge me (pun intended, Ahhhhh).

Despite the Norse team’s low armour value I couldn’t seem to do much more than stun a lot of them, with a few knockouts here and there. Both teams managed an interception during the game which was impressive/infuriating, one of them being caught by one of my Chaos Warriors! Sweet! It’s not all bad though as none of my players were seriously injured and graced by the Chaos Gods one of my players mutated and grew an extra arm!

“I told you I was ill” 3 – The Redmist Reavers 0

Looks like Chaos was in for a beating this round as the Redmist Reavers seemed to suffer the same fate as my team! Robin, the Reavers coach, really does not seems to have the best luck with dice games however. I think somewhere down the line he’s really pissed off Lady Luck and she’s getting back at him big time.

The Lack Lustrians 3 – The Ironbeard Guard 0

A dark cloud hung over this match. Despite levelling up last game and gaining a +1 to his armour stat, Trollchewer the Trollslayer is no more. His lust for battle has seen him to an early grave. This has earned The Lack Lustrians a place in the Ironbeard Guard’s Book of Grudges.

The dwarves managed to take out Tenquax the Saurus with an injury bad enough for him to miss the next game, but the Lizardmen chalk up another impressive victory in this league.

Da Smashy Hitterz 1 – Al Gore’s Man Bear Pig Appreciation Society 0

More blood was spilt and more skulls were crushed in this match. The Orcs managed to grind the nimble Skaven to a halt, then proceeded to grind their bones into dust. Their unbreakable line was too much for the ratmen and Yurt the Black, a skaven thrower with a promising career ahead of him, was cut down in his prime, having his neck snapped by a over zealous Orc. The rest of the team didn’t fair that much better, well I guess they did in that they are still alive, but 3 of the skaven will be missing their next matches due to injury!

We just want to be loved 0 – Ming’s Marauders 0

Shockingly a scoreless draw! By rights the Dark Elves should’ve out paced the sluggish (and slug-like) Nurgle team. I didn’t see much of this match but I did hear that Cuddles, the beast of Nurgle, managed to actually catch the ball. Not something you see everyday. I suspect that Cuddles didn’t so much catch it as maybe the ball bounced his way and got stuck in his vile, sickening ichor that excretes from his body. The other thing I’ve noticed from post match is maybe the reason M’sM didn’t score was they were taking a beating, especially line-elf Lecibnitol who ended up losing a point of strength!

Unnamed Orc Team 1 – Unnamed Goblin Team 0

Well Rob (who hasn’t actually named his team yet) got a buy this round against Michael’s Goblin team, who without even playing a match has retired from the league. This must be a first for a Goblin team, surviving intact from a Blood Bowl league. Their winning strategy was to never take the field in the first place!

Fantasy Football Results Table

Total SPP                Team Name
57                Bellend Hogs
56                RRRiot POW-Lice
52                The Southland Alliance
51                Clueless Wonders
43                The Menagerie of Malcontent’s
41                The Donkey Men
41                Traci Lords of Change
39                Team Hatstand
34                Doc’s Depraved Delinquents
23                Van Hemlock’s Vandals

Bit of a shake up in the league here. Kilowog’s Bellend Hogs make a massive leap up the table, just pipping the RRRiot POW-Lice by one point despite the strong line up. Van Hemlock’s Vandals have a pretty good round, picking up 22 points even with a few players missing this round due to injuries.

Players that will be missing the next round include:

Tenquax (The Lack Lustrians)
“Dirty” Pigdish Jawpunt (Da Smashy Hitterz)
Hirt, Zast and Jizzwink (Al Gore’s Man Bear Pig Appreciation Society)

Newly hired players:

Grendal the Snow Troll (The Hurdy Gurdy Hitmen)
Cidan the Blitzer (Ming’s Marauders)
Shagrax the Gutter Runner (Al Gore’s Man Bear Pig Appreciation Society)

Now let us have a moment of silence for the fallen:

Trollchewer, Trollslayer
(Liquidized by Lizardmen)

Yurt the Black, Thrower
(Obliterated by Orcs)

Thanks for reading, folks. See you on the pitch soon!